Showing posts from September, 2017

Either you teach him or let life do the job. PART 1

If only my father let me sing rather than ‘your job is to study.' I love music. I hum songs. My soul dances along with the melody. I sing from my heart, my happiness, and my sadness. I couldn’t have become Elvis Presley or Lata Mangeshkar, but given an opportunity, I  would have become the best of what I was capable of. Only, if my father… Academics have always been at the center of our family life. Even more so of a middle-class family like mine. We know we better study or we become beggars. So, what do we do? We do what our parents say- We study. We do what our school curriculum lays out for us. We study. And some who don’t, I wonder how they are surviving as beggars. (pun intended). Later, I stepped out of home at 17 to study more so that I don’t become a beggar. The journey which started then, continues. But every time I get to witness a sunset, I sing. School and academics do not teach LIFE. They prepare you to get a degree to get some bread home. That is the l

Either you teach him or let life do the job. PART 2

HELPING HIM LEARN THE ART OF PERSISTENCE Every failure can be turned around with hard work and persistence. This is my favorite. For being a writer, I know how important it is to learn perseverance. What does it mean to persevere? In layman’s term, it ‘NOT GIVING UP DESPITE ODDS”. It’s easy to give up and difficult to hang on. How do we do that? Wait before you praise and reward the child- We have a tendency to shoot a GOOD JOB the moment the baby took his first step, the toddler scribbled for the first time, the preschooler did a jig, or the kindergartner built a Lego structure. Don’t you think the child can become immune to it? He will expect it for every little thing he does and then looks up and wonder- where is my  'good job?' There is no harm in saying a good job, but what is the point in blurting it out at every twist and turn?   Click to read- Go beyond just 'GOOD JOB.' Do not praise your child for being smart. Try to look for what went in

Well-Being- Refurbish your 'MUST'.

...for there isn't any MUST in life, And if there are...they MUST NOT be. I MUST do well every time, each time, and win the approval of everyone, each one, H owever hard I try, I do not get it right. But why do I try so hard? THEY MUST treat me kind and fair, They need to be flogged and whipped for not liking 'ME.' I try in desperation, just how do I manage? T o hold people by leash and command them to like me. To MUST get my want, to not get what I don't want, I scurry  like a rat between the two ends, happy in one and sad in other, lively in one and dying in other, See- Saw I play, See-Saw I play. T o believe that life MUST go MY WAY or MY WAY, T o conclude that there isn't any other way, To suspect every different path that shows up, Such restlessness and discontentment paralyze me. These MUST's have crippled me, For years, I contort my existence,  T o fit into the design others have made, except that I forget my own frame e

Returning Moms- Gear up or Give up!!!

Yes, career breaks are a concern. Why? Because you tend to RUST out, and why should anyone buy rust? Besides, there is fresh talent waiting with degrees in one hand and infectious enthusiasm in the other. You are 35. You left at 29. That is a long break. But a respectable one. So walk in with your head held high. If you walk around sheepishly thinking you are no more 'the same,' trust, it’s difficult not to disappoint the interviewers. But, on the other hand, if you face them with an aura of confidence and aplomb, they shall be infected too. Why should they see value in you when you don’t see much worth in you? Do not settle for less, if not more, just because you have returned after a career break. If they see worth in you and the value you can bring, you will be their safe bet. So how do you ensure 'worth' after a career break? One step is to be a smart- at-home- mom. Is it a safe bet? Will you get the job? NO. There are no safe bets in this world. However, you are

Stay at Home Mom - Do I stand a second chance? Becoming Smart at Home Mom

Yes! You do. No, you do not. Perplexed? Your second chance is directly proportional to your hunger, your appetite for the second chance. Only if it is your choice, for you know the best. Because SAHM is not a dumb housewife as people tend to perceive. Just because your majority of time is spent in domestic chores and child-centric activities, that does not make you dumb. Possibly, at any point in time, if you want to launch yourself on the career track again, you would be LOST. And mind you, once the kids are grown up, you tend to have TIME on your hand. So many SAHM moms who were previously working women start looking around, wondering, and getting depressed. The world has changed in manifold ways. My father was in a 9-5 job, a stable and lifelong one. My mother was a SAHM, and so were all others around her. Choices were limited, aspirations uncomplicated, and we still had STD booths. Bad things did happen but less televised and served on our plates. It isn&