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Showing posts with the label The Mom's Corner

The Indian American Mom

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  As an Indian American mom, I struggle to teach my daughter the right values, and my parenting has sometimes been questioned. But motherhood in America changed it all…so much so that I am surprised at the cosmic shift that can happen in life when a baby pops out of the womb. As if all the alcohol inside the body dried up, the hormones vaporized in thin air, and all the morality, values, and traditions of India have one door to knock on – MINE. Thanks to the population of the Indian community here, I have fodder for my eyes and ears, to reinforce how we must preserve the Indian-ness in us, in our children; otherwise ‘times are bad’ and ‘anything can happen, you see’. Phew! To read the article, click on The Indian American Mom Image courtesy-Pixabay

Dear Mother-in-law, I Am My Own Person

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Like almost every MIL and DIL, my MIL and I too share a bitter-sweet relationship. But here are a few things I would like her to know. What do you mean when you call me  ‘bahuraani’ ? Queen? Like a queenly queen? As in a bejeweled queen treated with care? Well, I am sure you don’t mean that! Oh come on, you just  say  it. That’s just your lips saying it. To read the article, click on  I am my own person .  Image Courtesy-Pixabay

I tweaked the way I talk to my child

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How I talk to my child is different from how my father spoke to me. Am I glad that I am doing things differently? Yes. Is there a guarantee that this is the best way to talk? Is there a safety net? No. Because there is no safety net in the world for anything. Question- Can I watch TV? Now that's a deal with the devil, right? My parents- 'NO. Go and do your homework. Watching TV will not help you.' :( And all the while the TV show went on, I stared blankly at my book. I was distracted. Me to my son- 'Yes, you can, after you are done with your homework.' The addictive, immersive world of screen is no stranger. However, my constant NO's only made him immune to this word. So what message do I want to send across? Can I reword my answer and ensure that it's positive and takes care of both our interests? Besides, it also inculcates task orientation in children. Just be sure that asking your children to monitor their screen time while

But why FUSS over motherhood?

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My mother never thumped her chest for all that she did. I don't want chest-thumping either.  My bad, I don't get this. Platonic, joyous, blessed, and much more. When it comes to motherhood, the more adjectives, the better. Unconditionally loving, unconditionally caring till her last breath and even after, I guess, the more such attributes for a MOTHER, the better. Mother’s Day to every day celebrating motherhood, the world is lapping up every opportunity to say - MOMS ARE THE BEST. Well, they are. So? What's the glorification about? Our moms (baby boomers or early generation X) had 2-3 children, some even 4 for some blessed ones. They conceived, delivered, breastfed, cooked, cared, washed, cleaned, organized, cooked again, cleaned again, and fall asleep tired and exhausted only to wake up at 5 am or 6 am again and start the grind. They too had dreams, few were career women, and many were Staying at home but never brooding, complaining or depressing,

My son, his Spermarche, and his Sexuality

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If a parent is trying to protect, care for, and educate a girl child on her sexuality, it is equally essential to provide the same to the boy child. Doesn't it take 'TWO TO TANGO'?  Giving attention to your boy child is equally important, if not more. If we made our boy children responsible adults, we ensure that the girls don’t need to move around with fear. Don't say then- I will not understand. I do because I have a son, and he is not a bull.  Click on   My son, his Spermarche, and his Sexuality   to read the full article. Image courtesy-Pixabay

HOMECOMING

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"Whenever you feel 'fear,' and I mean it from my heart and soul... Do what you are afraid to do because overcoming what frightens you the most ...strengthens you the most." "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear- Nelson Mandela." Click on  Homecoming  to read the full article. Image courtesy-Pixabay.

Dear Soldier- How did you celebrate Valentine's day?

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Tell me something? What were you thinking when you decided to stand at the LOC? You knew what was coming your way? Right? Your family knew what this job entails? Why didn't you choose a safer and secure option? Why? There are umpteen IIM's and IIT's around, Artificial Intelligence is on the boom, Robots are transforming life and look at you. Who goes for work on 14th February when Cupid Cuties are on a roll and hearts are going a flutter?  To read the article, click on Dear Soldier, how did you celebrate Valentine's Day?   Image courtesy-Pixabay.

One 'Sobremesa a day' - There is nothing great about a family meal except

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Except that in a culture of 'INSTANT' and 'DISTRACTION,' one family meal is where One disconnects to connect. A frenzied screen life(that's how I define our regular life today) finds some time to stop by and look beyond the screen. Google university is replaced by life's essential lessons shared via experience. A meal is appreciated. They say eating is a necessity, but cooking is an art. And the person who cooks for the family blends labor and love with art to present the plate that comes before you. How can one not appreciate and feel grateful? And food definitely tastes better when you eat it with your family. And nutrition blends with togetherness to provide a complete experience to the body. Nutrition is not only about eating right and eating healthy. If the food on the plate does not have a sense of emotion, the nutritious meal can hardly matter. The feelings come from family. The feelings of sharing, bonding, and connecting w

Your child's fascination with the the big G.

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"This is your private part. Nobody should touch it or see it. Only your mom, dad and your doctor can. Never touch your friend's private parts and do not allow anyone to touch yours. It’s private.” "What is private mamma?" “Private means, it belongs to you only and nobody should see it, touch it. Also, we do not talk about it with everyone. If you want to talk about it, come to papa or me.”  That's my chant to my child.Blaming the other child for all the ills my child develops, is NOT ON MY AGENDA. Click on the link to read the full article on  Mompresso Image courtesy-Pixabay

A KISS is GREAT...but a KISS can WAIT!

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Michelle Obama once said while addressing a group of young girls- "There is no boy, at this age, cute enough or interesting enough to stop you from getting an education," Obama added. “If I had worried about who liked me and who thought I was cute when I was your age, I wouldn’t be married to the President of the United States." To me, she made a very valid point that applies to both adolescent boys and girls. We(parents) call it a distraction, maybe the biggest, and they(our adolescents) call it LOVE...the truest. We dealt with sexuality and our child some time back( read http://www.fourcloverlife.com/2017/01/meaningful-parenting-guiding-adolescent.html ) and understood the havoc the hormones play at the time of puberty and continues to even at a later stage .  A lot of life then and onward has to do with LOVE, and this comes at the most unwanted time... a time when the adolescents are right in the middle of their EDUCATION, right in the midst of

How many classes have you enrolled you child for? 'Comparison - Part 3'.

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A mom of a 5-year-old talking during the evening walk- "I keep her very busy. She is enrolled for ballet, Bollywood dance, Jazz, swimming and gymnastics' and of course her regular coaching class for English and Math." I quipped, wondering about her heroic child- " Why so many classes? How does she manage? And why a coaching class? Isn't it too early. She goes to regular school?" "Common Yaa, haven't you seen everybody around, and it will give her an edge," pat came the reply. "Edge over?" I asked. "Edge over others in alphabets, numbers, shapes ...it will make her faster and better, and she will get into the habit of 'regular study hours.' And extracurricular activities are so much needed nowadays. Everyone is into so much. Isn't it? Have a look at Facebook, and you will know what other children are up to?" I was ready to faint, but I managed a croak - "But you can teach her and make