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Showing posts with the label The Mom's Corner

But why FUSS over motherhood?

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My bad, I don't get this.
Platonic, joyous, blessed and much more. When it comes to motherhood, the more the adjectives the better. Unconditionally loving, unconditionally caring till her last breath and even after I guess, the more such attributes for a MOTHER, the better.
Mother’s Day to everyday celebrating motherhood, the world is lapping up every opportunity to say - MOMS ARE THE BEST.
Well, they are. So?
What's the glorification about? Our moms (baby boomers or early generation X) had 2-3 children, some even 4 for some blessed ones. They conceived, delivered, breastfed, cooked, cared, washed, cleaned, organized, cooked again, cleaned again and go to sleep tired and exhausted only to wake up at 5 am or 6 am again and start the grind. They too had dreams, few were career woman’s and many were Stay at home but never brooding, complaining or depressing, exalting, aggrandizing and thumping over their SAHM (stay at home mom) status or WM(working mom) status really. They were patie…

My son, his Spermarche and his Sexuality.

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If a parent is trying to protect, care and educate a girl child on her sexuality, it is equally important to do the same with the boy child for it takes 'TWO TO TANGO' and you never know whose responsible behavior will actually save parents from these problems.




Giving attention to your boy child is equally important if not more. If we made our boy child responsible adults, we ensure that the girls don’t need to move around with fear.
Don't say then- I will not understand. I do, because I have a son and he is not a bull. 

Click the link Mompresso to read the full article.


Image courtesy-Pixabay

HOMECOMING

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"Whenever you feel 'fear' and I mean it from my heart and soul...Do what you are afraid to do because overcoming what frightens you the most ...strengthens you the most."
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear- Nelson Madela"
Click on Homecoming to read the full article.
Image courtesy-Pixabay.

Dear SOLDIER,

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Tell me something? What were you thinking when you decided to stand at the LOC? You knew what was coming your way? Right? Your family knew what this job entails? Why didn't you choose a safer and secure option? Why? There are umpteen IIM's and IIT's around, Artificial Intelligence is on the boom, Robots are transforming life and look at you. Who goes for work on 14th February when Cupid Cuties are on the roll and hearts are going a flutter?  Click on Dear SOLDIER, How did you Valentine Day go? to read the full story.
Image courtesy-Pixabay.

One 'Sobremesa a day' - There is nothing great about a family meal except

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Except that in a culture of 'INSTANT' and 'DISTRACTION', one family meal is where

One disconnects to connect. A frenzied screen life(that's how I define our regular life today) finds some time to stop by and look beyond the screen.
Google university is replaced by life's important lessons shared via experience.

A meal is appreciated. They say eating is a necessity but cooking is an art. And the person who cooks for the family blends labour and love with art to present the plate that comes before you. How can one not appreciate and feel grateful? And food definitely tastes better when you eat it with your family.

And nutrition blends with togetherness to provide a complete experience to the body.Nutrition is not only about eating right and eating healthy. If the food on the plate does not have a sense of emotion to it, the nutritious meal can hardly matter. The emotions come from family.The emotions of sharing, bonding and connecting with each other. A connectivity…

Your child's fascination with the the big G.

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"This is your private part. Nobody should touch it or see it. Only your mom, dad and your doctor can. Never touch your friend's private parts and do not allow anyone to touch yours. It’s private.” "What is private mamma?" “Private means, it belongs to you only and nobody should see it, touch it. Also, we do not talk about it with everyone. If you want to talk about it, come to papa or me.”  That's my chant to my child.Blaming the other child for all the ills my child develops, is NOT ON MY AGENDA.


Click on the link to read the full article on Mompresso

Image courtesy-Pixabay

A KISS is GREAT...but a KISS can WAIT!

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To me, she made a very valid point which is applicable to both adolescent boys and girls.We(parents) call it a distraction, may be the biggest and they(our adolescents) call it LOVE...the truest.


We dealt with sexuality and our child some time back( read http://www.fourcloverlife.com/2017/01/meaningful-parenting-guiding-adolescent.html) and understood the havoc the hormones play at the time of puberty and continues to even at a later stage. A lot of life then and onward has to do with LOVE, and this comes at the most unwanted time... a time when the adolescents are right in the middle of their EDUCATION,right in the midst of forming a goal and working towards it,right in the midst of shaping life. 

We know it strikes without knowledge. It pops up at the most inopportune time. There is nothing wrong with the feeling. It's the timing which is concerning. Holding Academics in one hand and Cupid in another is a tough one, and many times Cupid takes the better of them. What suffers is ed…

How many classes have you enrolled you child for? 'Comparison - Part 3'.

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A mom of a 5-year-old talking in a group of moms- "I keep her very busy. She is enrolled for Ballet, Bollywood dance, Jazz, swimming and gymnastics' and of course her regular coaching class for English and Math."
I quipped wondering about her heroic child- " Why so many classes? How does she manage? And why a coaching class? Isn't it too early. She goes to regular school?" "Common Yaa, haven't you seen everybody goes and it will give her an edge", pat came the reply.
"Edge over?" I asked.

"Edge over others in alphabets, numbers, shapes ...it will make her faster and better and she will get into the habit of 'regular study hours'. And extracurricular activities are so much needed nowadays. Everyone is into so much. Isn't it? Have a look at Facebook and you will know what other children are up to?"
I was ready to faint, but I managed a croak - "But you can teach her these and make her get into regular study hours.…

Did you offload your baggage to your child? Is it heavy ? 'Comparison Part 2'

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Are you carrying an excess baggage and offloading it to your child?




The burden of your unfulfilled dreams, the blame for your failures, the strain of your unmet expectations, and anxiety of your poor self-esteem ...is it fair to put them all on your child and label it - I am an ambitious parent.

OR

The grandeur of your success, the magnificence of your achievements the loftiness of your fame and glory, the constant praise of your hard work and intellect- Is it fair to assume and expect a similar destiny for him?


You couldn't do it, so you want your child to do it now. Fair or Unfair? or You did it and so you want your child to do it. Fair/Unfair?

We all have big expectations from our children. Haven't we heard conversations like-
I couldn’t do much in my life. My circumstances were such. But I want my son to do now.”

or

“I have earned this success and fame for myself. I want my son to do the same.”

or
“I couldn’t learn music when I was a child. I wanted to do so many things. I will ensur…

Meaningful Parenting - Comparing your child to everyone. Compare if you must but don't judge. Part 1

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So, you did it again? You compared your child to his friends, his sibling and the icing on the cake- you compared him with your own self at that age as if you were the best gift to mankind then. Really? Were you? Our parents did to us, their parents did to them and now we the educated generation a-z (whichever alphabetical generation we belong to- never got that logic though) the pseudo ‘KOOL’ parent do it too. This time it’s well wrapped, sugar coated and sophisticatedly used. The dialogue has changed from-

“Dekho Pandey ji ke beta ko. Kuch samajh mein aata hai? Dekho kahan se kahan pahunch gaya aur ek tum ho ki bas khel khel. Zara seekho kuch. Sab kuch to kar rahe hain tumhare liye, phir bhi …” Said in the most raw form…so thorny that it actually pricked the heart.
(Look at Mr. Pandey's son. Do you understand? See his accomplishments and look at where you are? We are doing everything for you but you are such a wastrel.)
(Look at Mr. Pandey’s son. Do you really understand? See his a…