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Showing posts from March, 2018

Meaningful Parenting- I tweaked the way I talk to my child.

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How I talk to my child is different from how my father talked to me. Am I glad that I am doing things differently?
Yes.
Is there a guarantee that this is the best way to talk? Is there a safety net? No. Because there are no safety net’s in the world for anything.
Question- Can I watch TV? My parents- 'NO. Go and do your homework. Watching TV will not help you.' :( And all the while the TV show went on, I stared blankly at my book. I was distracted.
Me to my son- 'Yes, you can, after you are done with your homework.'
My constant NO's only make him immune to this word. What message do I want to send across? Can I reword my answer and ensure that it's positive and takes care of both our interests?
Upon not picking up a concept/skill fast. My parents- ‘How much time you are taking? Hurry up. You are so slow.’
And I kept wondering what was so grossly wrong with my intellect? I felt belittled.
Me to my son- ‘I know it's not easy. But I can see you are being patient. Can I …

Meaningful Parenting- Go beyond 'Good Job'

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I am an advocate of appreciation.
We were brought up in different times. Parents were more critical and appreciation of any kind was hard to come by. Even if they did it had a hyperlink attached- “हाँठीकहै ,अबज्यादाउड़नेकीजरूरतनहीं . आगेभीअच्छाकरतेरहनाहै ”. (It’s OK...you don't need to fly so much. You have to keep doing well.') The tone in which this dialogue was delivered always use to put us in confusion- 'येक्याथा? "What was that?"
The inflated self-esteem went whoosh as we were thrown back to the ground.
It's different now. We as parents indulge in appreciation. A small or big act of achievement or even just the effort. We laud our children with ‘GOOD JOB’ as often as possible. Yes! The hypothesis has changed today. The more you appreciate the better it is. All kinds of research going around to prove how appreciation is linked to better grades, better behavior and better performance academically and in other aspects of life. It elevates self-esteem and self…