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Showing posts from April, 2017

Meaningful Parenting- My son is a master of 'Selfie'. Wow!!! Isn't it? Part 1

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Then he is one step closer to the danger which anyways lurks around in an unsafe world we inhabit.
...and this is not the first time.
Some fall off a cliff, some fall off and drown in the sea and some fall off the train.
What do we want to show to oneself? Nothing.
Selfies are taken to show to the world- ‘LOOK’. It gives us pride.Pride within limits gives a feeling of self-respect and personal worth. Sometimes you like to show off your achievements, and share your happiness. But it doesn’t stop here most of the time.
Taking selfies is not harmful.It started just as a mode of self-expression, and a means of communicating and connecting with others. But the story did not end here. Slowly and steadily, the art of selfies along with the advent of Facebook and Instagram took this self-expression to a different level. A level where every kind of attempt is made to gain approval, admiration and validation and gratification. This leads you to a form of obsession.People start looking for validation…

Meaningful Parenting- The world of hollow 'LIKES' ? Maybe/ Maybe not

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Can we raise children to turn out to be responsible adolescents in this era of newly found 'narcissism' and 'power' to get 15 minutes of instant fame? Is there a perfect safety net? NO.
Are there guidelines to ensure the adolescent thinks once before embarking on ‘DANGER’  to their self? YES.


ROLE MODELLING, EDUCATION AND INVOLVEMENT
STOP YOURSELF  FIRST. Be the person you want your child to become. That way you ensure that the role model the child has in front of him is the responsible role model, the right role model. Children learn more by observational learning. They see more than they hear you.  If you are a ‘Selfie King/Queen’, it shouldn't surprise you if your child becomes a ‘selfie prince/princess’ and later become selfie-addicted teenagers.  The first school being home, the parents are the first teachers and what they teach form the roots. Be mindful of what you are teaching your child consciously or unconsciously. Albert Bandura, who is known for the classic…

Meaningful Parenting- Do I want an obedient child? Part 2

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Is the aim to raise compliant children? Is obedience compliance? Disobedience in children is nothing but a natural, curious, exploring, testing, wondering, learning behavior. Or reacting – in the only way they know how – to a situation over which they have no control because they did not come into the world being wise. I doubt I would be happy to do something I didn’t want to do if the only reason I was given was ‘because I said so.' Can I not extend the same understanding to my child? If he asks me a 'why' for everything, what is so grossly wrong? Someone who is all of 2,3,4 or 5 years old or more than that and has started learning about the world and it’s ways, doesn't he deserve the right to know why he should or why he shouldn't do something? Why should he just take orders and accept them as a given? And in the process, if he disagrees with me, I will feel disappointed, maybe a little offended but I am looking at the larger picture.I am helping him to disag…

Meaningful Parenting- Do I want an obedient child? Part 1

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Don't forget what I say is more important that what you say.

I have just returned from India trip and I have come with a heavy heart and a sulking 4-year-old. Grandparents, both paternal and maternal finally found a label for my child- Disobedient. And maternal grandparents carelessly said- like mum, like son. When his father joined me later...they added, "he is quite a handful. I must say, he needs training. He is very disobedient and I am fed up of his why's". Another blow to the heart. We thought he was doing good. So, let’s understand what is this obedience. The dictionary defines it as “compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another's authority.” Parents define it as- "compliance with what they say without questions asked." Obedience in one's own child is not only desired but also enforced through various means. And how does obedience manifest itself behaviorally? Just the way my parents use to talk about my brother who was highly obe…