Showing posts from May, 2018

How many classes have you enrolled you child for? 'Comparison - Part 3'.

A mom of a 5-year-old talking during the evening walk- "I keep her very busy. She is enrolled for ballet, Bollywood dance, Jazz, swimming and gymnastics' and of course her regular coaching class for English and Math." I quipped, wondering about her heroic child- " Why so many classes? How does she manage? And why a coaching class? Isn't it too early. She goes to regular school?" "Common Yaa, haven't you seen everybody around, and it will give her an edge," pat came the reply. "Edge over?" I asked. "Edge over others in alphabets, numbers, shapes will make her faster and better, and she will get into the habit of 'regular study hours.' And extracurricular activities are so much needed nowadays. Everyone is into so much. Isn't it? Have a look at Facebook, and you will know what other children are up to?" I was ready to faint, but I managed a croak - "But you can teach her and make

Did you offload your baggage to your child? Is it heavy ? 'Comparison Part 2'

Are you carrying a piece of excess baggage and offloading it to your child? The burden of your unfulfilled dreams, the blame for your failures, the strain of your unmet expectations, and anxiety of your poor self-esteem it fair to put them all on your child and label it - I am an ambitious parent.   OR The grandeur of your success, the magnificence of your achievements, the loftiness of your fame and glory, the constant praise of your hard work and intellect- Is it fair to assume and expect a similar destiny for him? You couldn't do it, so you want your child to do it now. Fair or Unfair? or You did it, and so you want your child to do it. Fair/Unfair? We all have big expectations from our children. Haven't we heard conversations like- “ I couldn’t do much in my life. My circumstances were such. But I want my son to do now.” or “I have earned this success and fame for myself. I want my son to do the same.” or “I couldn’t le

Comparing your child to everyone. Compare if you must but don't judge. Part 1

So, you did it again? You compared your child to his friends, his sibling, and the icing on the cake- you compared him with your own self at that age as if you were the best gift to humankind then. Really? Were you? Our parents did to us; their parents did to them. Now we, the educated generation a-z (whichever alphabetical generation we belong to never got that logic, though), the pseudo ‘KOOL’ parent do it too. This time it’s well wrapped, sugar-coated, and sophisticatedly used. The dialogue has changed from- “ Dekho Pandey ji ke beta ko. Kuch samajh mein aata hai? Dekho kahan se kahan pahunch gaya aur ek tum ho ki bas khel khel. Zara seekho kuch. Sab kuch to kar rahe hain tumhare liye, phir bhi … ” Said in the rawest form…so thorny that it actually pricked the heart. (Look at Mr. Pandey's son. Do you understand? See his accomplishments and look at where you are? We are doing everything for you, but you are such a wastrel.) Look at how we have polished our words now- “I see you a