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Of course I am happy.....till I FIND SOMETHING BETTER. Till...

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I GET USED TO WHAT I HAVE!!!





And this is what the biggest human frailty is all about. Isn't it? The itch, the hunger, the thirst with which we pursue, chase our 'happiness goals' and manage to realize them, why does it cease to provide the happiness which was the very goal we started the quest.
To me, it is our biggest weakness that ails us, psychology calls it the habituation-a form of learning in which an organism decreases or ceases to respond to a stimulus after repeated presentations. 
From a TV to a long-awaited promotion to a Green card to 10000 likes, WE GET USED TO IT ONCE WE HAVE IT AND IT NO MORE MAKES US HAPPY? The acquisition of one leads to a momentary feeling of happiness and then what? WHOOSH!


Happiness is an abstract concept which we have come to define in terms of material acquisitions, coveted degrees, SAT scores, salary, good-looking spouse and the list is infinite. So, we acquire these possessions and try to make ourselves happy only to discern that this C…

Wife and Husband

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So I was asked this question today by one of my readers who also happens to be one of my friends “Why did you change your name after marriage?  Nobody does this nowadays. Why should we women do this all the time? We are equal and not need to change our surnames or our identity. You went ahead and included his name and surname too.Phew!”

I looked at her in bewilderment, because I had never thought of this and said rather meekly- " Our name together sounds really nice to me. It has a melody to it which makes me ...smile." That's all.

Sometimes it's really not about empowerment, equality, and identity. Beyond the frontiers of man vs woman, lies a sweet spot where I feel nice to be married to my husband, feel fortunate to have him in my life, cradle him to sleep when he is tired, serve him warm food because I know he likes it, dust his shoes when he is running late to work, try to keep his tea ready once he is back from work and stand by him at all times. I do it not beca…

How many classes have you enrolled you child for? 'Comparison - Part 3'.

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A mom of a 5-year-old talking in a group of moms- "I keep her very busy. She is enrolled for Ballet, Bollywood dance, Jazz, swimming and gymnastics' and of course her regular coaching class for English and Math."
I quipped wondering about her heroic child- " Why so many classes? How does she manage? And why a coaching class? Isn't it too early. She goes to regular school?" "Common Yaa, haven't you seen everybody goes and it will give her an edge", pat came the reply.
"Edge over?" I asked.

"Edge over others in alphabets, numbers, shapes ...it will make her faster and better and she will get into the habit of 'regular study hours'. And extracurricular activities are so much needed nowadays. Everyone is into so much. Isn't it? Have a look at Facebook and you will know what other children are up to?"
I was ready to faint, but I managed a croak - "But you can teach her these and make her get into regular study hours.…

Did you offload your baggage to your child? Is it heavy ? 'Comparison Part 2'

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Are you carrying an excess baggage and offloading it to your child?




The burden of your unfulfilled dreams, the blame for your failures, the strain of your unmet expectations, and anxiety of your poor self-esteem ...is it fair to put them all on your child and label it - I am an ambitious parent.

OR

The grandeur of your success, the magnificence of your achievements the loftiness of your fame and glory, the constant praise of your hard work and intellect- Is it fair to assume and expect a similar destiny for him?


You couldn't do it, so you want your child to do it now. Fair or Unfair? or You did it and so you want your child to do it. Fair/Unfair?

We all have big expectations from our children. Haven't we heard conversations like-
I couldn’t do much in my life. My circumstances were such. But I want my son to do now.”

or

“I have earned this success and fame for myself. I want my son to do the same.”

or
“I couldn’t learn music when I was a child. I wanted to do so many things. I will ensur…

Meaningful Parenting - Comparing your child to everyone. Compare if you must but don't judge. Part 1

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So, you did it again? You compared your child to his friends, his sibling and the icing on the cake- you compared him with your own self at that age as if you were the best gift to mankind then. Really? Were you? Our parents did to us, their parents did to them and now we the educated generation a-z (whichever alphabetical generation we belong to- never got that logic though) the pseudo ‘KOOL’ parent do it too. This time it’s well wrapped, sugar coated and sophisticatedly used. The dialogue has changed from-

“Dekho Pandey ji ke beta ko. Kuch samajh mein aata hai? Dekho kahan se kahan pahunch gaya aur ek tum ho ki bas khel khel. Zara seekho kuch. Sab kuch to kar rahe hain tumhare liye, phir bhi …” Said in the most raw form…so thorny that it actually pricked the heart.
(Look at Mr. Pandey's son. Do you understand? See his accomplishments and look at where you are? We are doing everything for you but you are such a wastrel.)
(Look at Mr. Pandey’s son. Do you really understand? See his a…

#BlogToPM

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Dear Prime Minister,

I listened to you over the comfort of my smartphone and a much smarter lifestyle, speaking so eloquently at the Central Hall Westminster in London. Very carefully you touched upon the pressing concerns of our country- Woman’s safety, Unemployment, Heath care and Farmers. The रोटी  , कपड़ा ,  मक़ान with a शौचालय and  स्वछता  around is a burgeoning realityof today’s times along with ‘सबका साथ, सबका विकास ’ kind of movement. As the 2019 elections draw close, I wonder, is it all done? I am sure not. But you see, it would be unfair to only look at what is left undone. I am not one of those onlookers. As you remarked on your twitter- we have a million problems but we have 125 billion Indians to solve it. I am sure your intentions are honest and that is where big dreams have the potential to become a reality. It is just a matter of time.
So, why am I here? I have a concern, which I know has not escaped your seasoned and alert eyes. Yet I choose to write, to share and to remi…