Four Clover Life- By Namrata Shailendra Singh

Is the aim to raise compliant children? Is obedience compliance? Disobedience in children is nothing but a natural, curious, exploring, testing, wondering, learning behavior. Or reacting – in the only way they know how – to a situation over which they have no control because they did not come into the world being wise. I doubt I would be happy to do something I didn’t want to do if the only reason I was given was ‘because I said so.' Can I not extend the same understanding to my child? If he asks me a 'why' for everything, what is so grossly wrong? Someone who is all of 2,3,4 or 5 years old has just started learning about the world and its ways. Doesn't he deserve the right to know why he should or why he shouldn't do something? Why should he just take orders and accept them as a given? And in the process, if he disagrees with me, I will feel disappointed, maybe a little offended, but I am looking at the larger picture . I am helping him to disagree, to think,

Don't forget what I say is more important than what you say. I have just returned from an India trip, and I have come with a heavy heart and a sulking 4-year-old. Grandparents, both paternal and maternal, finally found a label for my child- Disobedient. And maternal grandparents carelessly said- like mum, like son. When his father joined me later...they added, "He is quite a handful. I must say, he needs training. He is very disobedient, and I am fed up with his why's". Another blow to the heart. We thought he was doing good. So, let’s understand what this obedience is. The dictionary defines it as “compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another's authority.” Parents define it as "compliance with what they say without questions asked." Obedience in one's own child is not only desired but also enforced through various means. And how does obedience manifest itself behaviorally? Just the way

I read a mind-boggling story of a parent who wants IIT coaching tips for a 10-Year-Old. 2015 survey done by HSBC showed that 51% of Indian parents wanted successful careers for their children. They chose a successful career over the happiness and health of their children. Good? Bad? Ugly?  In a country plagued by poverty and everyday fight for basics, the results are not surprising.  A country where  Nine-year-old Pinki Paharin who lives in an isolated tribal village in Chuha Pahar, situated atop the Rajmahal Hills in Sahebganj district of Jharkhand, hunts for rats, squirrels, and rabbits to eat...the results are not surprising.  http://everylifecounts.ndtv.com/no-mid-day-meal-jharkhand-9-year-old-hunts-rats-squirrels-for-lunch-11291?pfrom=home-wapextra3 Do we blame parents for the choices they make for their children? Not everyone has the option to make a choice.  Or maybe there is always a choice. Sometimes one is not courageous enough to live with the consequenc

WHAT SHOULDN'T GUIDE YOUR DECISION? Your best friend decision- Best friends are truly ‘BEST,’ but their choices and decision cannot and should not influence yours unless the best friend is ready to participate in bringing up your child.  Just because your best friend is pregnant with her second child does not mean you should too. She will not pay for your child's upbringing, nor will she come to support you in raising the child. The ride is only yours, and only you know what to do. Family pressure - Much the same way, just because your aunt, your mother-in-law feel that you should have a second child, you should not jump into the breeding assignment. Exactly, it's not an assignment, and you (along with your partner) have to raise the child. Ask them- are you ready to support me financially, emotionally, and physically?  Spur of the moment craving - Maternal cravings are innate in us. First, we want a child, then we feel like having another. What if

You go around looking for examples, and you will find them abundant in all sorts of permutations and combinations. With changing lifestyles, the influence of television and media, the omnipresent mobile phone and other gadgets, and a social media platform coupled with a consumerist society, life has taken on an altogether different meaning. We have the world in our fist(courtesy Apple and the like) and everything  'instant'(courtesy Amazon and the like). A single child, children who have siblings or parents who decide not to have a child...we have a wide variety available for our understanding. Let's not get mean by glorifying a particular family set up and disapproving, condemning another kind that doesn't look like ours. It's not your job to judge somebody else's journey... unless you pay for the tickets. With parenting and raising children, generalizations should be made cautiously and best- not to make them at all. There is popular advice to prosp

The question is - who are you raising? A child or a sibling? If you are raising a child, the ingredients remain the same irrespective of age or siblings around. One may have a few add-ons or subtractions. The basic ingredient of raising any child remains the same. Does it change if you have two in your house? You still want them to be kind, sensitive, courageous, and grateful. Don't you? Haven't you heard of a spoiled younger child? You indulge any child; the child will get spoilt. Personality traits of stubborn vs. flexible, sociable vs. private, ambitious vs. content are all influenced by a variety of factors, and the existence/influence of a sibling is a tiny part. The problem is not in the child but your behavior towards him. Let's look at the variety of accusations handed over to the single child and see how the single child can emerge a winner here with the support of parents, extended family, and friends. Undoubtedly, the single child gets a