FB , FB on the wall, who is the fairest of all?

The festival of Diwali came, saw, and conquered not only the atria and the ventricles but also OUR BODY. Resplendent in all glory, we ditched our inhibition and shopped like there was no tomorrow, sparkled like diamonds and moissanites, and posted like an octopus with many hands, all of them working synchronously. Yes, this festival makes you feel like a whole enchilada and satiated. The 'oohs ' and 'aah' of friends and frenemies over the 'Sabyasachi' in all of us ensured we have enough in our pantry to last a year until next Diwali. Facebook was on a rampage, and I loved the overflowing 'likes' and 'hearts' moving around. At age 35, neither too young nor too old, just in the middle, these 'likes and hearts' matter. Even more, if you are a MUM. That’s important because the world is cautious about a woman's age, and the tag ‘MUM’ changes the way people look and perceive you.

People don't compliment me often, courtesy- ME. I wonder what part of my oddity reflects that I am not a 'compliment to be given' type, and on the Diwali day, by some stroke of luck, I was the one who was getting it all.

“Yummy Mummy, wow, look at you, you don’t look like a mum.”

“Age is reversing for you. No one can say you have a kid.”

“You are back to 16. Wow. Tell us how to go back to 16.”

I was flummoxed. Are they joking? Really? Shit! No! Ouch! Why? How come?
With so many question marks, I responded meekly-'Thank you' wondering what was so grossly wrong with me? 


Yes, even I was.

You see, it's been 4 years that I gave birth to this ‘joy’ and officially joined the ‘mum’s community.’ And guess what? Considering it an all-women community, compliments are vital, desired, and omnipresent. :) ;)

Why is everyone so fixated on 16?

While I don't know how a 35-year-old mum should look like, I know for sure that I am a mum, and I am comfortable looking like one, feeling like one, and behaving like one. For sure, I do not want to jump around like a teenager, giggling at a boy who looks chocolaty enough to be licked right away. Facebook could be a ramp walk, but my life isn't, and I TAKE IT SERIOUSLY- NO COGNITIVE DISSONANCE WHATSOEVER.

And why shouldn't  I? Am I not proud to be a mum? Is looking like a mum a concern, a crime? These compliments circulate like the quintessential flu virus in September-October, and the more they do, the better it gets on the ones who are looking like mum and the ones who look like teenage mums :). The former hides her belly bulge behind the saree pallu, and the latter moves around with her flat tummy like a Filmfare award.
The problem doesn’t cease here. It’s the mind that gets affected and the self-esteem which gets injured. This heart work that one engages in is sheer HARD-WORK and one with no rewards. It is futile. The present loses its worth and meaning, and the ‘past’ yearns to be re-lived.

Hey, Mums (of all kinds of belly and bust),

It’s important to be peaceful in your present. Motherhood brings some long-lasting changes in the body, the mind, and the soul. Let’s carry those changes with pride; if not pride, then at the very least, some peace. 
Don’t pull your breath while you are getting clicked.
Don’t hide thunder things behind those overflowing oversize hip-length tees. It’s OKAY.
You don’t get ‘Likes’ on your pics -It’s Okay. You were born to live your authentic life and not to get 'LIKES.'

Stretch marks on belly- Check. Great!
Sagging breasts- Check- Great!
Wider Hips-Check. Great!
Belly Bulge-Check-Great
Flabby Arms-Check-Great
Tires around Waist-Check-Great.
If you don’t have these. Great. If you have these. Great.

Live your age, Live your looks, and whatever it has to offer. You lived the past; why do you want to live it again? Come what may, the fact is that you cannot go back to Chapter 16. Nor can you feel 16. How am I supposed to feel Chapter 16 when I have reached Chapter 35? And why would I want to? And why is looking young so important? Haven't you looked, felt, and lived the so-called  ‘youth’... You did...right?
Now feel at age 35 and move on. Being fit and healthy is a sustainable choice for the body but doing so to look and feel 16 is an unsustainable choice for the mind and the soul.
So, the next time someone hurls that backhanded compliment, I shall run for cover.  I value my present...in my thoughts, my feelings, and my action. That may not necessarily make me happy (the way the world views happiness), but that definitely provides peace.

20 is madness, and so is 35, and so would be 70. It’s just the nature of madness that differs.

Getting poetic-
An autumn leaf that broke away from the branch and lies on the grass will soon be shrouded in snow.  But can it say that it feels like a new green leaf? Should it still revel thinking about its lime green charm? It was but once a green leaf… and now it's tawny…green was beautiful then, brown is gorgeous now, green or brown… the color is not essential…The question is how well it lived green and how well it lives brown…and how well it gets buried under the icy snow.

Image courtesy-Pixabay


  1. Beautiful, it's like mental sketch of a 35 years old mom,in words, and drawings are icing on the cake.

  2. I am not a mum. Yet this blog is something which any woman of any age can relate to.

  3. I am not a mum. Yet this blog is something that any woman of any age can relate.

  4. Whatever they look like... a mom n a baby r always cute.... n everyone's look good when they r themselves....

  5. True. I liked the way you portrayed the essence- Everyone looks good when they are themselves. Bang On. The biggest compliment that can come by is-Hey,you look you and 'you' are fab.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My son, his Spermarche, and his Sexuality

Nutrition and Health Nugget- HDL -The good fat needed for our body-Taking control of Cholesterol

To smooch or not to smooch.