A letter to the best agony aunt-Maa- Happy Mother's Day
I am just so upset, irritated. This is not done. I am just so not into Mother's Day. One day this father-son duo will make me breakfast- the humble, effortless bread and omelet( no grand, sumptuous aloo parathas), present me pink Lillies, take me out for shopping, and rest of 364 days, I keep chasing them for everything. Huh. From riches to rag story all in a day. This is what it is. Unbelievable. What is the use of Mother's day?
The little grandson of yours is making me demented day by day. He thinks I am his Google in life. Maa, he is just four and has 400 questions every day. That makes 400*364 to answer. Now you see my plight. And I can't even ask him to go to Daddy.
That brings to another big problem in my life- His Daddy, his calls, his work. I tell you Maa, this man is forever on his phone. The adage - 'and they lived happily eve after' is most suitable for this man and his phone. He just doesn't have time. Either he is on his daily status call, or weekly status call, or monthly status call. He attends to calls except for his wife's ring. He behaves as if he runs the company, and it would collapse if he missed one call. Really? And when you ask him about his increment, he will go all innocent-'You know the market is very bad'.
And don't even ask about weekends. What changes for me? A big NOTHING. I slog on Monday, and I slog till Sunday. One humble family dinner becomes a chant for the entire week till another one arrives. He vacuums the house on Sunday, and the chant continues for a week- 'see, I vacuumed the house.'
Your grandson wants a delicacy prepared every day. You tell me, how? I work too. I have con calls which I take while trying hard to get that roti to puff up. (I better get a Rotimatic for me. My friends are swearing by it.) What about me and my aloo parathas? You know how much I love them. I feel like crying now.
No, No, No, this is not the end. There is more to come. Last anniversary I dropped a hint around buying that iPhone 7s. I kept staring and drooling over it, right in front of him. I thought that is a good enough hint. At night I made it a point to discuss the sleek look, the new features and thought MY JOB IS DONE. I had never been incontrovertibly so sure in my life than this. But all kinds of things happen in this world and in my life...implausible ones, unimaginable ones. Can you believe it? He didn't get the hint? Really? I mean, how much more clues a man's microscopic mind needs? All that I got was a card and some flowers. A small piece of jewelry doesn't hurt..right? And that card...he didn't write anything on it. Just his name and addressed - 'to wifey.' Okay, I know I am his wife. He needn't remind me. Huh. How am I supposed to feel? Rotten, right? I wonder how you are living with Papa for 40 years. These men, I must say. Phew.
And why can't God give these two men some sense of keeping the house neat, clean and organized? Forget the grandson, his Daddy himself need to be reminded- 'Don't you think it's high time the drawer got de-cluttered?' I mean, can't you see how much trash you have accumulated. Your manager writes in his appraisal that he has an eye for detail. If I ever appraised him, I would give him a 'fail' because he has an eye for nothing. And his son is two steps ahead of him. He declutters every day- 'Mamma, this shirt is short now. Let's discard. Mamma, this toy is not good; let's discard it. Oh, really?
Enough is enough, Maa. I am coming for a vacation leaving these two with each other. Then they will know my worth. Huh. And then those calls with my MIL adds extra stress to my life. Her questions are either about her son or her grandson. Where am I? I don't think she likes me. I wonder what made me all emotional last Diwali and purchase that saree and gold jewelry for her?
By the way, you haven't been calling me of late. Why? You keep too busy with your daughter-in-law and granddaughter. I know, now I am all 'paraya dhan'( belongs to somebody else). Forget it; I won't come to you for vacation. It's your turn to prove your love.
I know, I know you will be grumbling right now after reading this- ‘Look, how much this girl cribs.' Then you will go and share my misery with Papa. Raising his eyebrows just an inch high, two fingers browsing his 'chai craving' lips, he will say- 'She will mature up.'
You think I crib? I never crib, and I am very mature.
You think I crib? I never crib, and I am very mature.
Okay bye. I have to go. When you have time, call. And ya, the day you will start living with your son in law will you realize how much of a stalwart I am. It takes a soul of steel, a body of iron, and a mind of a genius to survive him. He comes for four days, gets treated like a king, and you think I have temperament problem and he is innocent. He goes to his home and gets treated like a king again. King+King- Super King. And what about me? My home or his home or this home, I have to slog. Look, I am almost crying.
P.S- Maa, you are my best agony aunt in the world, my punching bag. Thanks for being one. And I love you. These two men in my life...what will I do without them? The truth is that amidst all this madness, your words echo in my ears- 'Thank God for this madness. It means we have a partner to share our life with and a child who adorns our life'. Yes, you are right. That one lesson that you taught me reverberates within me every moment.
'Nami, I have a dirty house, laundry to do, noise, endless questions, grocery list, electricity bill, appraisal ratings, and complaints about Papa. The beauty of this insanity is- that I am blessed with a life partner, a child, money, clothes, food, shelter, a job, and LIFE. Never take it for granted, for not everyone is blessed with this insanity.'