Four Clover Life- By Namrata Shailendra Singh

Roses are red, Violets are blue I love Selfies, and so do you? FB FB, dear FB wall How many likes did I get in all? Some fall off a cliff, some fall off and drown in the sea and some fall off the train. He was somebody's young son; she was someone's adolescent daughter. Click on the link to read about selfie deaths in India alone- https://www.ndtv.com/topic/selfie-death . Taking selfies is not harmful. It started as a mode of self-expression, and a means of communicating and connecting with others. But the story did not end here. Slowly and steadily, the art of selfies along with the advent of Facebook and Instagram took this self-expression to a different level. A level where every kind of attempt is made to gain approval, admiration and validation and gratification. This leads you to a form of obsession.People start looking for validation and become dependent on them. They literally throw the reins of their life, their self-esteem, their self-identity in other pe

"Behind every peaceful mind is a deactivated social media account." Can we raise children to turn out to be responsible adolescents in this era of newly found 'narcissism' and 'power' to get 15 minutes of instant fame? Are there guidelines to ensure adolescents think once before embarking on ‘DANGER’  to themselves? ROLE MODELLING, EDUCATION, AND INVOLVEMENT STOP yourself first Be the person you want your child to become. Children learn more by observational learning. They see more than they hear you.  If you are a ‘Selfie King/Queen,’ it shouldn't surprise you if your child becomes a ‘selfie prince/princess’ and later become selfie-addicted teenagers.  Home is the first school; parents are the first teachers. Therefore, be mindful of what you are teaching your child consciously or unconsciously. Albert Bandura, known for the classic Bobo doll experiment, identified this basic form of learning in 1961. The importance of observational lea

Is the aim to raise compliant children? Is obedience compliance? Disobedience in children is nothing but a natural, curious, exploring, testing, wondering, learning behavior. Or reacting – in the only way they know how – to a situation over which they have no control because they did not come into the world being wise. I doubt I would be happy to do something I didn’t want to do if the only reason I was given was ‘because I said so.' Can I not extend the same understanding to my child? If he asks me a 'why' for everything, what is so grossly wrong? Someone who is all of 2,3,4 or 5 years old has just started learning about the world and its ways. Doesn't he deserve the right to know why he should or why he shouldn't do something? Why should he just take orders and accept them as a given? And in the process, if he disagrees with me, I will feel disappointed, maybe a little offended, but I am looking at the larger picture . I am helping him to disagree, to think,

Don't forget what I say is more important than what you say. I have just returned from an India trip, and I have come with a heavy heart and a sulking 4-year-old. Grandparents, both paternal and maternal, finally found a label for my child- Disobedient. And maternal grandparents carelessly said- like mum, like son. When his father joined me later...they added, "He is quite a handful. I must say, he needs training. He is very disobedient, and I am fed up with his why's". Another blow to the heart. We thought he was doing good. So, let’s understand what this obedience is. The dictionary defines it as “compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another's authority.” Parents define it as "compliance with what they say without questions asked." Obedience in one's own child is not only desired but also enforced through various means. And how does obedience manifest itself behaviorally? Just the way

I read a mind-boggling story of a parent who wants IIT coaching tips for a 10-Year-Old. 2015 survey done by HSBC showed that 51% of Indian parents wanted successful careers for their children. They chose a successful career over the happiness and health of their children. Good? Bad? Ugly?  In a country plagued by poverty and everyday fight for basics, the results are not surprising.  A country where  Nine-year-old Pinki Paharin who lives in an isolated tribal village in Chuha Pahar, situated atop the Rajmahal Hills in Sahebganj district of Jharkhand, hunts for rats, squirrels, and rabbits to eat...the results are not surprising.  http://everylifecounts.ndtv.com/no-mid-day-meal-jharkhand-9-year-old-hunts-rats-squirrels-for-lunch-11291?pfrom=home-wapextra3 Do we blame parents for the choices they make for their children? Not everyone has the option to make a choice.  Or maybe there is always a choice. Sometimes one is not courageous enough to live with the consequenc

WHAT SHOULDN'T GUIDE YOUR DECISION? Your best friend decision- Best friends are truly ‘BEST,’ but their choices and decision cannot and should not influence yours unless the best friend is ready to participate in bringing up your child.  Just because your best friend is pregnant with her second child does not mean you should too. She will not pay for your child's upbringing, nor will she come to support you in raising the child. The ride is only yours, and only you know what to do. Family pressure - Much the same way, just because your aunt, your mother-in-law feel that you should have a second child, you should not jump into the breeding assignment. Exactly, it's not an assignment, and you (along with your partner) have to raise the child. Ask them- are you ready to support me financially, emotionally, and physically?  Spur of the moment craving - Maternal cravings are innate in us. First, we want a child, then we feel like having another. What if