Four Clover Life- By Namrata Shailendra Singh

“ Happiness is a choice Naina. Comparison is a choice. Making a choice is a choice . I am just trying to get across one point Naina.  CHOOSE . Is it so difficult to not look at others? Are you so unoccupied and if that is the case Naina Roy, I Sanjukta Sircar will tell you the biggest secret why I choose to work till now. An empty mind was a devil’s workshop and continues to be so. Social Media has added to the power of this demon. If you do not have something productive to do, find one, start one. It requires one to be brave because we love our comfort zone. It is the best place to settle in but it soon starts rotting and decaying and you have to get out of it. That, undoubtedly calls for some effort and courage which you have shown. To me you are a bright kid and your start –up looks like a great idea. What is the problem then? Your friends and their FB posts? Delete your FB account if you cannot handle it. Click on the link to read the winning story- Choices   Image

Both came from small towns, Durgapur and Lucknow, respectively, and both placed their career chart much above the marriage  kundli  and the ‘ chattis gun .’ 7th August 2018 “Naina, come on in. Congratulations. How does it feel? I am so happy for you. You deserve every bit of it,” said Chandana, the 42-year-old, Director, Marketing, Xerox India, rising from her seat, hugging Naina as she entered her room. “You are the Virat Kohli of my team,” she added, patting Naina’s back and pulling a chair for her. Click on the link to read the full story - Just living is not enough. Image courtesy-Pixabay

Michelle Obama once said while addressing a group of young girls- "There is no boy, at this age, cute enough or interesting enough to stop you from getting an education," Obama added. “If I had worried about who liked me and who thought I was cute when I was your age, I wouldn’t be married to the President of the United States." To me, she made a very valid point that applies to both adolescent boys and girls. We(parents) call it a distraction, maybe the biggest, and they(our adolescents) call it LOVE...the truest. We dealt with sexuality and our child some time back( read http://www.fourcloverlife.com/2017/01/meaningful-parenting-guiding-adolescent.html ) and understood the havoc the hormones play at the time of puberty and continues to even at a later stage .  A lot of life then and onward has to do with LOVE, and this comes at the most unwanted time... a time when the adolescents are right in the middle of their EDUCATION, right in the midst of

The festival of Diwali came, saw, and conquered not only the atria and the ventricles but also OUR BODY. Resplendent in all glory, we ditched our inhibition and shopped like there was no tomorrow, sparkled like diamonds and moissanites, and posted like an octopus with many hands, all of them working synchronously. Yes, this festival makes you feel like a whole enchilada and satiated. The 'oohs ' and 'aah' of friends and frenemies over the 'Sabyasachi' in all of us ensured we have enough in our pantry to last a year until next Diwali. Facebook was on a rampage, and I loved the overflowing 'likes' and 'hearts' moving around. At age 35, n either too young nor too old, just in the middle, these 'likes and hearts' matter. Even more, if you are a MUM.  That’s important because the world is cautious about a woman's age, and the tag ‘MUM’ changes the way people look and perceive you. People don't compliment me often, courtesy- ME. I w

" Moms, don't miss the opportunity to make the most of your time with the little ones while they are still little. Cuddle them, squish them, smell the top of their heads, shower them with a hundred kisses! Let your clothes soak up their tears and let their grubby fingers ruin your hair as they fling their arms around you. Etch each moment in your memory because no pictures will ever do them justice. Trust me, time flies. Soon, these days will seem like a distant dream, and you will wish for them all over again!" These lines have not been written by me. It's been pretty viral on Facebook, and it made me think. Literally, pause and think. Undoubtedly, beautiful words, heartfelt emotions, and just so TRUE. Then what's the discomfort? It's painful and, unfortunately, unavoidable. The nest one day will be empty. Can you prepare for it? NO. Can you ensure it doesn’t pain? NO. What can you do? Make the best use of your time RIGHT NOW a

When your maidservant's 12-year-old daughter tries to dream, aspires to rise above her class and become somebody like you, when she poses a threat to your own daughter and her talents, it is difficult not to remind the mother-daughter duo of their status----------------------MAIDSERVANT. To read the award-winning story, click on - The Green-Eyed Monster . Image courtesy-Pixabay

Does excess make you unhappy? How is it possible in a life where everyone seeks ABUNDANCE OF EVERYTHING? Excerpt-------- "I told you, I am not sure. I have been feeling trapped for some time now… trapped by this constant desire to compete, trying to prove, validate, to please, appease, pacify, to belong, to be accepted, to be liked, to be everywhere except with my own self. My fear is consuming me because I have so much to lose – name, fame, status, money and all that comes along with it." Click on the following link to read the story------------- JUST LIVING IS NOT ENOUGH

I GET USED TO WHAT I HAVE!!! And this is what the biggest human frailty is all about. Isn't it? The itch, the hunger, the thirst with which we pursue, chase our 'happiness goals' and manage to realize them, why does it cease to provide the happiness which was the very goal we started the quest. To me, it is our biggest weakness that ails us; psychology calls it  habituation -a form of learning in which an organism decreases or ceases to respond to a stimulus after repeated presentations.  From a TV to a long-awaited promotion to a Green card to 10000 likes, WE GET USED TO IT ONCE WE HAVE IT AND IT NO MORE MAKES US HAPPY? The acquisition of one leads to a momentary feeling of happiness, and then what? WHOOSH! Happiness is an abstract concept which we have come to define in terms of material acquisitions, coveted degrees, SAT scores, salary, good-looking spouse, and the list is infinite. So, we acquire these possessions and try to make ourselves happy only to

So I was asked this question today by one of my readers who also happens to be one of my friends “Why did you change your name after marriage?  Nobody does this nowadays. Why should we women do this all the time? We are equal and not need to change our surnames or our identity. You went ahead and included his name and surname too.Phew! ” I looked at her in bewilderment, because I had never thought of this and said rather meekly- " Our name together sounds really nice to me. It has a melody to it which makes me ... smile." That's all. Sometimes it's really not about empowerment, equality, and identity. Beyond the frontiers of man vs woman, lies a sweet spot where I feel nice to be married to my husband, feel fortunate to have him in my life, cradle him to sleep when he is tired, serve him warm food because I know he likes it, dust his shoes when he is running late to work, try to keep his tea ready once he is back from work and stand by him at all times.

A mom of a 5-year-old talking during the evening walk- "I keep her very busy. She is enrolled for ballet, Bollywood dance, Jazz, swimming and gymnastics' and of course her regular coaching class for English and Math." I quipped, wondering about her heroic child- " Why so many classes? How does she manage? And why a coaching class? Isn't it too early. She goes to regular school?" "Common Yaa, haven't you seen everybody around, and it will give her an edge," pat came the reply. "Edge over?" I asked. "Edge over others in alphabets, numbers, shapes ...it will make her faster and better, and she will get into the habit of 'regular study hours.' And extracurricular activities are so much needed nowadays. Everyone is into so much. Isn't it? Have a look at Facebook, and you will know what other children are up to?" I was ready to faint, but I managed a croak - "But you can teach her and make