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Showing posts with the label The Mom's Corner

I have SOMEBODY in my life. I am not in love...though.

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A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEBODY I am N ….Naina Thakur and this is my story. Not only mine but also yours. You are as chained as I am, handcuffed and shackled...and this conversation is as important to you as it is to me.  N- Hey Hi. Somebody- Hi, you are talking to me? N- Ya. May I know your name, please? Somebody- aha! My name? N- Yeah! I have been following you for 36 years and I still don't know who you are. Today I saw you, again, and thought of asking. I went asking my grandfather who is 88 and he seemed to be clueless. Somebody- He didn't know? That's strange. I thought by 88 you become wise enough to know pretty much everything. N- O common. Don't beat around the bush. Just tell me who you are? Somebody- Why don't you go and ask your mum or dad? N- My mum?   Well, yeah, I remember she was the one who spoke about you. Yes, I remember. I have heard her talk about you often. In fact, she is the one who introduced

Meaningful Parenting- Go beyond 'Good Job'

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I am an advocate of appreciation. We were brought up at different times. Parents were more critical, and appreciation of any kind was hard to come by. Even if they did it had a hyperlink attached- “ हाँ ठीक है , अब ज्यादा उड़ने की जरूरत नहीं . आगे भी अच्छा करते रहना है ”. (It’s OK...you don't need to fly so much. You have to keep doing well.') The tone in which this dialogue was delivere was confusing to us- ' ये क्या था ? "What was that? Are they happy or not happy?" The inflated self-esteem went whoosh as we were thrown back to the ground. It's different now. We, as parents, indulge in appreciation. A small or big act of achievement or even just the effort. We laud our children with ‘GOOD JOB’ as often as possible. Yes! The hypothesis has changed today. The more you appreciate, the better it is. All kinds of research going around to prove how appreciation is linked to better grades, better behavior, and better performance acad

Did your child lie to you today?

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Preschooler, Elementary school going child, middle school children or high school teenagers---------It really doesn't matter. Lying happens-To us and to them. THE PRESCHOOLERS The issue of moral development in children extensively researches in the field of Child psychology. It's natural for you to feel upset when you find your preschooler lying to us. You think that it reflects poorly and that you are not bringing him up the right way. But do you need to get distressed over your child’s ‘truthfulness’ yet? No. It’s too early. BUT Imagination- ----You have to differentiate between his actual lying and his fantasy. For example- My son often cooks up these stories about how a dinosaur came to his class and all his friends fought them. Many such stories I hear every day, from bugs to cockroaches to lions to dinosaurs. I am glad his imagination is doing the job well. Preschoolers observe the world around them keenly, and ‘creative play,’ ‘pretend and play,’ ‘ima

To smooch or not to smooch.

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I wonder if Indians smooch? They do? Really? Have they always smooched or it is some new found sexual angle? Oh, forget it! How does it matter? With our population, nothing matters. I had an idea about smooching back in school- the year 1996. You know how Chinese whisper works. When it came to ‘smooching’ what came to me was something to do with the tongue and esophagus. The implementation happened 15 years later in the most unsophisticated, an ‘atrangi’ and unhygienic way. For a middle-class Indian who is raised with the mantra- ‘ jootha nahi khate ’, smooching = sin. Unsanitary sin. Forget it! I am not a fan of a smooch. But what if my kid is? The thing is that the biological clock and the academic clock are in direct conflict when you enter your teens or hit puberty. Just when the world is putting the right kind of pressure on you to go to Stanford, your mind is solving calculus equations, your body is doing its own weird calculation...size? Inches? Bang

My daughter, her first day of menstruation, her sexuality and her life.

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Dear Love, You started your menstruation today. I know it is painful and difficult for you today, but I trust you will adjust well. I am there for you. I am glad you chose me to be your friend on this journey. I am not surprised that you knew about menstruation. It's just that knowing the right thing is essential so that you are not misinformed about all kinds of bodily changes you will observe in the near future. At a personal level, I am happy to see you and your body grow. It's a healthy sign. It's a nice feeling to see you bloom into a youthful girl brimming with enthusiasm and life. Remember, nothing changes in your life, though. You play and run, you eat and have fun the way you have been doing.  Maintain good hygiene habits and change your sanitary pad when needed. If you want to wear a white dress, go ahead. You may encounter an instance or two where you may find that you have stained your skirt or your legging. That's just an accident, and I