I am struggling and I am new. Everyday tracking of page views, Google AdSense & affiliate account earning (if any), umpteen social media accounts, followers and following, stumbling and pinning, posting and reposting, Facebook groups and their admin, gaining entry and getting blocked, FB pages and no.of likes, and the list is endless. I am overwhelmed by the vastness of this world. I am out of breath already. Collapse I may anytime or quit. Should I?
When I see myself in the ocean that I am in, I feel scared. There are so many people writing so good, blogging so well, skillful and artful, earning and thriving.
And here I am scrambling to survive. When I quit my corporate career to follow 'WORDS' I was unsure if I am doing the right thing. I followed 'WORDS' and I am still unsure if I am doing the right thing. Everyday a new revelation, a new learning and a new lesson. It's when you see millions of people who have been there, done that, you question yourself- Do I belong here? What can I add? It’s all done and dusted, written, read, rewritten and re read. Do I have anything to add? And the competition makes you nauseous. Where does your 66 cents stand in front of the $5,000 the other guy earned over a week. To add insult to the injury, here are people who truly pull you down, hoard information, are unkind and blunt and so very unfair.
You feel a pit in your stomach as if you will never make it. You don't stand a chance. Jostling in the crowd, not for a piece of that coveted pie but just the dust of it... it’s one of the toughest game we all are playing in our own respective field. As if all this wasn't enough, I have the human emotion of envy and jealousy lurking around to pounce at every opportune moment when I am bogged down, breathless and hopeless.
So, do I quit? I have asked this to myself many times, every day, every hour, every moment.
No, I won't... until I have fought with all my might. I know it's not going to be easy. But it wasn't supposed to be a duck soup anyways. I look fragile but have a whale of a determination. I may take a while to arrive but arrive I will. Slowly and steadily like the old adage tortoise. The only difference is that I am in no race. I want to do my own thing with the best that I have. Will I write what nobody has written? Maybe/Maybe not. But I will write like nobody has written...
I know there is a deluge of talented people out there. I am one of them. The icing on the not so yummy cake are the copy cats. What do I say to them? Copy with all your might. You cannot copy my mind and my talent. You just cannot. I am there to stay because I am original. And you will eventually stay one step behind. You have to wait for me to take a step before you copy.
And not a penny to my name today, I have inexhaustible faith that one day I will. May the best one win. May we all win. May hard work and patience, grit and determination, persistence and patience, focus and motivation win. I am heavy duty. I know it will take enormous hard work, grit, and patience. I am ready to wait and hold on.
Just one bit- Let not the hope die. I shall keep my morale high.
I love you.
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