Monday, 1 May 2017

Meaningful Parenting- What does the soldier think? Does your child need to know?

May I take the liberty to use the word 'SOLDIER' for Armed Forces of all kinds in any country who stand for their country protection and its people's safety?

Have you purchased a book on 'soldiers' ever? As in like EVER? Think about it-When is the last time you talked to your child about a ‘soldier’? I didn’t. And I feel sorry for it. I could have easily spoken to by three-year-old about a soldier- "who stays on the mountain and protects us." Or my school going child about the soldier “who didn’t come home for a festival because he is out there at the border of the country protecting us." I wrote a letter to a soldier who died when I was busy partying. I have kept this letter for my son when he is ready to understand what a soldier thinks. For now, I am going to purchase an age appropriate book for him. I am presenting you the letter.

My dearest soldier,

I got the news about your killing yesterday night. It took me some time to read the story in detail. You know I was planning a baby shower party for my friend who is seven months pregnant.

After reading the news in detail, my mind kept oscillating between you and the baby shower. Do you have a family too? How many children and how old are they? Who informed your family about their loss? What did they tell to your children? Did they understand?

My thoughts kept frequently disturbed by constant WhatsApp messages of upcoming Mother’s Day celebration. Ping, Ping, Ping. Do you have a mom too? She must be feeling so lost knowing she will never see you again. My mom is coming over for a vacation to spend time with her grandchildren and me. She is a very loving mom. Just like yours. And I am a mom too. I wonder how does a mom feel when she gets to know that the very child she gave birth to is no more. It nails my heart, hammers it, pierces ...just the mere thought of it. I wonder how is your mom handling it? One second, hang on, the doorbell is ringing. Ting Tong.

Wow. You know what? The online gift parcel got delivered just now. Great, isn't it? Now I can gift my mom just the way I want. Let me check the box and its content. Hope they didn’t forget the Baahubali 2 movie tickets. My mom is very fond of such movies, and I thought to surprise her. Yeah, coming back to you, second. I have a new mail in my inbox. It reads my husband’s health checkup report. Just a moment dear soldier. This is important. My husband hasn’t been feeling very well lately, and it worries me a lot. Just one second, let me just browse through. The doctor has advised him not to venture out much when it's cold as it can worsen his condition and to eat organic food. Phew. Organic food is so expensive, but that's okay. Why else do we earn? To keep our family safe and happy, right?

Oops, I totally forgot about you. Look at me, I have a thousand thing to attend to, and here I am writing this letter to you. The house is in a mess. The party decoration needs to be set up; the domestic helper hasn't turned up, I have to choose the dress I shall wear for the baby shower and so much more. The caterer needs to see the revised menu too. People are not fond of vegetable cutlets. They prefer shami kebabs more. People and their taste buds I must say ...haha. So, with so much going around, why I am getting stuck up with every step? What is this massive weight I feel inside?Why am I coming back to you...again and again? 

Guess I know why I cannot take my mind off you. Ever since I got the news, a piece of my heart is tugging me and bringing me back to you. There is a mini-me inside who is broken after hearing this news. This mini-me is delicate and deeply perceptive. She doesn't belong to the world. She is the one who knows the right from wrong, the good from bad and the vice from virtue. This mini-me is untouched by the worldliness. She is my inner voice, my conscience, and my soul and she is heartbroken yet again knowing about you.

Tell me something? What did you think when you decided to work at the LOC? You knew what was coming your way? Right? Your family knew what this job entails? Why didn't you choose a safer and secure option? Why?

Aha! I know. You weren't thinking anything. Because if you were thinking, you wouldn't be there at LOC. You only feel. Feel truly, honestly and sincerely...devotedly, completely, totally and thoroughly. You feel the way nobody feels. You feel from such recesses of your heart that logic, reason, rationality, practicality and worldliness seems futile. You feel from your blood and soul and beyond. There is no brain at work. There never is when one is a soldier. Because the day the brain starts working, the army would be an empty place.

And one more thing, I feel so belittled. Along with the mini-me, I feel like tearing every bit of the baby shower decoration and throwing the Mother’s Day gift in the trash. Who are you to me? In worldliness terms, I am no one to you, but I guess you define relationships differently than me. Your definitions are heartfelt and deep, honest and sincere and something larger than 'worldliness.' I can't gift my mom at a time when the biggest blessing of your mom has been mercilessly snatched away leaving her womb and her life empty.How can I give a baby shower party when your children and their life just changed forever? 

I feel so ashamed of myself. And this is not the first time. And this is not the last time. Soldiers have always been there at LOC so that we can let loose and live, rock and roll. And look at me while you were doing your duty, I was doing worldliness of all kinds. How shallow, right? Yes, I am.

I am the worldliness person who is caught up with her dreams, her aspirations, her life, her Facebook, her Instagram , her emails, her IPad, her iPhone, her Amazon account, her prime deals, her children and their birthdays, school, vacations, her husband, her happiness, her sorrows, her desires and her whims  and her EVERYTHING. Then why are you not just about YOURSELF? I feel terrible. I feel sad.

Dear soldier, I am in a bit of a dilemma. I am not selfish. I can't just sit and watch. Then what do I do? How do I make you know that I am there for you? Maybe not in the zealous and impassioned way like you, but in my little way. My efforts would be puny but sincere. I promise. I am worldliness person you see, and I wonder how long I will hide under this mask and play safe?

Can you somehow drop a hint and tell me what I should do now? 

Indebted to you for life

For more such articles on Meaningful Parenting, Mindful Eating and Well-being, Please visit Four Clover Life at do not promise that your life will change, I can only promise that you will make a wonderful turn towards POSITIVITY and GRATITUDE.


  1. Really heart melting

  2. Truely touchy. Wonderful piece. Salute to d brave soldiers of our mother land

  3. Vry beautifully written.Heart touching piece..



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