Is to paint on the canvas of life together.Some parts will be hazy,some bright,some nicely curved and some just blank...but a beautiful one. It's the journey together that is important and not what you get out of it.
The role of Parents is to be 'Parents' and whatever comes with it.
Son-They say my role in your life is to give you roots and wings and then I will have to let you go.I don't think that can ever happen. You are but my child and what you mean to me can not be defined just between roots and wings.I shall not let you go.Why should I?Let go is a problematic word for me. You let go when people and events are so bitter that they are scarring your present and have the potential to scar your future.
Why do I need to let go a bond which defines me most beautifully and the bond which has given me the deepest and the greatest satisfaction one can have in a lifetime?
I shall let you be and let you charter your life,standing right where we both started our journey together. I will see you from my frail window flying and fall and again fly. And when you call for me, you will find me right beside you. I cannot let you go. I shall not. My umbilical cord connection is beyond all the wise words that say-Let go. For I know it's not that way ,it shall never be. I think the strength and the beauty lie in being close to you yet not to step on you, to know when to knock your door and when to just watch over your home.
I did not let go my parents. They are the ground on which I stand.I think every child should know that parents are not for a phase.They are for a lifetime. Their role in life changes at the various stage but it doesn't cease.There is no start or stop button to this role.Children need to value the ground on which they stand. As far as expectations and attachment are concerned the ones who say that they don't expect and have learned to detach...to me, they are just hiding their wound or healing it.We are human beings and to 'let go' a bond like this is unthinkable. Yes,it may hurt if you don't find your child around when you need him, don't hear 'I LOVE YOU' as many times as you would want to hear, but it would hurt anyways. Saying- "I don't expect and it's ok,he/she has a life to live" is a statement well said but very poorly lived. It shall hurt.We are real beings with real emotions.
My son-I am and I shall be your Mom till my last breath. In between,life can play tricks with me and you and expectations and attachment. I shall take it in my fold.But I won't let you go.I don't want to let you go. I shall let you be just the way I use to see you in the room upset and crying. I use to come over ,talk to you and then close the door softly.Your dad uses to say ,'Its ok. Let him be. He will manage.Let's just ensure we are around when he needs us'.
I better live 'real' and manage my attachment in a 'real' way.It's not about how well the painting looks. What matters is that we did it together.
Namrata Singh is an Author, a Life Coach dedicated to helping people get what they aspire for in their lives. She taps into their own inner reserves to create a fulfilling life and believes- 'Do not give up on yourself...YET'.